Struggling with sales confidence? Ask, have you sold to yourself?
Struggling with sales proposals? The real issue might not be your client – it’s you. Learn why selling to yourself first is the key to sales confidence.
So many of my clients proclaim that selling is hard. They struggle with outreach. They struggle with articulative value. And they struggle with building true sales confidence.
They’ve put together an incredible service or offer, one that really reaches deep and offers a practical solution or pathway forward to a real problem that their potential clients are facing. Yet, despite this, they simply can’t seem to sell it. And the reason is that deep down, they haven’t sold to themselves yet.
This is the lynchpin of selling. If you’re not convinced, your clients won’t be either.
And when you’re not convinced and your clients aren’t convinced, you will be effectively paralysed.
Proposal paralysis
Recently I was coaching a client who was preparing to come to my upcoming BD (‘Business Development’) Bootcamp. In our pre-work session, I asked her, ‘Why are you coming to the bootcamp, and what are you hoping to get out of it?’
She looked embarrassed. Then she admitted, ‘Well I’ve got nine inquiries sitting in my inbox. They’re all looking for quotes… and I haven’t sent a single one. I just need you to sit next to me and make me do something about them!’
Nine inquiries! As you can imagine, this was the reason that her practice wasn’t really moving.
When I asked why, she couldn’t really understand what was holding her back. It wasn’t about a lack of opportunity. It wasn’t about cold calling. Each of these inquiries was for people she’d already had conversations with and who were genuinely interested in working with her. It also wasn’t about collateral – she had brochures and proposals.
After diving in more deeply it turns out that the real reason she was paralysed from moving forward is because she’d never quoted at this level before. She was used to quoting in the hundreds of dollars… not thousands. And so she struggled to move forward… because deep down she hadn’t sold the value to herself.
$20,000 from a 30-minute call
So we sat down together, talked through one of the opportunities and built a tailored proposal. She took a deep breath and sent it off.
The very next day, I got a message from her. It said:
‘Hi Jane. I just had a call with Paul* and I sold a one day and four half-day profile sessions. The total was $19,990… from a 30-minute call!’
That’s the power of moving past the block.
The fear of rejection
What’s really going on when we struggle to send out proposals or quotes essentially comes down to a fear of rejection. While this phrase is so well used it’s probably a meme, it’s a very real problem.
The fear of rejection comes from three cognitive biases that humans share.
Negativity bias. This is where we put more focus and emphasis on negative events than positive ones, and in turn, allow them to have greater impact on our mental state.
Loss aversion. For humans, the pain of loss is more potent than the joy of winning or gaining something.
The ostrich effect. This is a cute way of describing our human ability to avoid negative information or feedback by burying our heads in the sand. Putting off sending out proposals is a real example of this effect.
These biases can work together to paralyse us from sending proposals (or even from opening emails when they come back!). The fear of rejection is so real that they can literally undermine your sales confidence. But it still points back to the same issue – you haven’t sold to yourself yet.
Why selling to yourself matters
As my good friend and sales expert Christina Joy says, sales is all about belief. If she were here, her question would be “Have you actually sold this to yourself yet?” In fact, she even wrote the book on it.
You have to believe:
This is a great offer for your client.
You’re providing genuine value to the client.
You’re not ‘ripping’ anyone off, or selling them something they don’t need – you’re helping them achieve an outcome worth far more than the price.
If you don’t believe these things about your offer, then you won’t have the sales confidence to send the proposal. Or if you do send it, then you’ll feel anxious and hesitant (or even paralysed).
But when you have sold to yourself, then you’ll be confident in selling it. As Seth Godin says, ‘Don’t find customers for your products, find products for your customers.’
So before you send your next proposal, ask yourself, ‘Have I sold this to myself?’ If the answer is yes, the rest will follow.
I’d love to hear your thoughts…
