Embracing the Imposter: how to deal with imposter syndrome
What we can learn from a Daniel Craig lookalike about how to deal with imposter syndrome?
My husband Mark and I recently went to an 80s-themed wedding. Mark went as Monkey Magic, and I went as Tina Turner. It was such a great night with 80s music, and everyone really got into the spirit of it. No expense was spared with props and decorations, and a Kylie Minogue drag queen was the celebrant. And it was really representative of the couple – Steve and Alex – who absolutely love to play and have a good time. In fact, the husband is a Daniel Craig impersonator! He’s very good at his job and is flown worldwide, invited onto super yachts and entertaining famous people (such as the Rockefellers).
The day before the wedding, I had a chance to sit down with him and learn a bit about how he got into his work as a Danial Craig impersonator and how it feels to ‘be an imposter’. And it was such an interesting chat because, despite all his success, he said the first time he ‘pretended’ to be Daniel Craig (and therefore James Bond), he just stood in the corner awkwardly. He said he felt a bit lost and had been telling himself just to do his version of Daniel Craig, but he felt awkward between the two personalities. He said, ‘I just didn’t know what to do. I felt so uncomfortable, and people were looking at me!’
So, I asked him what he did to deal with that feeling. He said, ‘I realised I had to tell myself, "You are Daniel Craig. You are James Bond." I had to leave my own identity behind in a way. I had to let go of me in order to become the alter ego.’ He then set about becoming Daniel Craig. He learned about the actor, he learned about James Bond, he watched the movies and learned the one-liners. He then got a support system – a crew of other imposters who could lend their experiences and help him become even better at what he does. In fact, they have banded together and now have their business entertaining clients around the world!
In essence, he had to embrace the imposter.
The imposters- L-R Gordon Ramsay, Mr T, Daniel Craig, Simon Cowell, Will Smith, David Beckham and Ricky Gervais
Embracing the Imposter (to Embrace Imposter Syndrome)
The imposter syndrome is an insidious and hugely common problem among people in business (and life). And it’s an even bigger problem among women.
A recent study by KPMG found that 75% of women executives experienced imposter syndrome in their careers. These highly educated and successful women have all the certifications, training and experience to back up their careers. Yet, they still struggled with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt that made them question whether they were good enough to do their job.
This research tells me that imposter syndrome can (and does) affect nearly everyone in business.
Learnings from an impersonator
Thinking about the imposter syndrome, I was struck by my chat with Steve. Could we carry this idea – that we must leave ourselves behind and fully embrace ‘the imposter’ – into the business arena? Especially when we have this encouragement to be authentically ourselves.
Todd Herman wrote the book The Alter Ego. In it, he talks about how high performers use an alter ego, which allows them to step into that high-performance space. Think of Oprah or Lady Gaga. Both have created a ‘performance’ presence that creates the ability to perform at an incredibly high level.
This aligns with what I learned from Steve. Just as he had to – in some way – leave his own identity behind to really become Daniel Craig, we also need to fully step into our alter ego, the one that believes we are great at what we do and the imposter syndrome doesn’t hamstring that. In fact, by ‘becoming the imposter’, we are able to really leave the imposter syndrome behind.
Of course, this seems easier said than done. So, how do we step into the imposter?
8 strategies to embrace the imposter
Surrender.
The first step is to surrender who we think we are. We must let go of who we think we are to become the person we need (and want) to be. Focus on what’s possible instead of self-doubt.
Support.
The next thing you need to do is get a support system. Steve actually has an entire crew of other impersonators (all of whom were at the wedding themselves) who are friends and support each other. We need that in your life and business as well.
Play.
Steve and Alex have so much fun together, as evidenced by their 80s-themed wedding (they also had a Baywatch wedding in the UK!). They both have magnetic personalities and seem to cultivate this element of high vibing in their lives, which they share with their friends and guests. Embracing this same sense of play in our work and practices opens us up to more insight, creativity, and happiness.
Growth.
Having a growth mindset is about becoming better today than you were yesterday. This is an important step to embracing the imposter and driving away the imposter syndrome.
Coach.
Getting a coach will help you believe in yourself. They’re part of your support system, part of learning to become a high performer, and’ll help you step into the imposter.
Do the work.
Show up and do the work. For Steve, this meant learning how to be Daniel Craig. For me, in my practice, it’s deep thinking and writing about solutions for problems that my community has. Whatever it is, just show up and do the work.
Affirmations.
I have always appreciated affirmations. And research shows that they work. In fact, affirmations can help restore self-competence by helping people to focus on things that build their self-worth.
Self-talk.
We need to watch our self-talk, which can either support us in our endeavours or tear us down. Use your inner voice to silence your critic and step into your alter ego.
Questions
How can you create a culture of care in your own practice or business?
Where is your expertise, and how can you share that in a way that demonstrates care to your clients and team?
Can you create systems that give you more opportunities and infrastructure to demonstrate your culture of care?
I’d love to hear your thoughts….