Episode 79- Facilitator vs Trainer: Jacinta Cubis on Guiding Groups Without Controlling Them

Jane Anderson (Fl)awesome Facilitation Expert, Mentor, Coach & Trainer, Jacinta Cubis

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Jane Anderson's Show with Jacinta Cubis

If you run workshops, team strategy days, or group sessions of any kind, you've probably asked yourself this question at some point: am I training this group, or am I facilitating it?

It sounds like a semantic distinction. It isn't.

Research backs this up: most people have never actually been taught how to run a meeting well, let alone facilitate a group toward a decision, a gap meeting-science researcher Steven Rogelberg has documented extensively. That's part of why so many workshops default to one-way "training" delivery, even when what the room actually needs is facilitation.

According to facilitation expert Jacinta Cubis, mixing the two up is one of the most common, and most costly, mistakes consultants and leaders make when they bring people together to solve problems, make decisions, or generate ideas. Get it wrong, and you either over-deliver content nobody asked for, or under-deliver the structure a group actually needs.

Cubis has spent 25 years facilitating for government departments, universities, and community organisations, and coaching thought leaders, experts, and facilitators on how to do it well. That work reflects the same core skills the International Association of Facilitators outlines in its global competency framework. She's also the creator of a simple, visual framework for reading a room and adjusting your own behaviour in real time, something she developed not in a classroom but by noticing what worked and what didn't in front of actual groups.

In this article, I break down her core distinction between facilitating and training, walk through her four-type self-awareness model for facilitators, and cover the practical lessons she's learned about pricing, client expectations, and building a sustainable practice around this skill.

Facilitator vs Trainer: The Core Difference

The clearest way to separate the two roles comes from a simple test Cubis borrows from Brandon Klein and Dan Newman's book Facilitating Collaboration.

If a trainer asks a question, they already know the answer. They're checking for understanding or guiding the group toward a predetermined outcome.

If a facilitator asks a question and already knows the answer, they're not really facilitating. A genuine facilitator asks questions because they don't know what the group will say, and the group's answer is what shapes what happens next.

Cubis puts it this way: a facilitator is a guide, there to help a group work effectively together to achieve its own purpose. A trainer, by contrast, exists to deliver a defined set of learning outcomes.

That distinction matters more than it might first appear, because it changes what "success" looks like in the room.

A trainer succeeds when the group has absorbed specific content. A facilitator succeeds when the group has done its own thinking, reached its own decisions, or generated its own ideas, even if that process looks messier along the way.

Why the Line Gets Blurry

Most people who run workshops aren't purely one or the other. Cubis describes herself as stepping into "trainer mode" when she's building a group's capability, and into "facilitator mode" when she's helping an organisation reach a decision or work through a problem.

The distinction she uses to keep the two separate: are you putting content in, or are you drawing it out?

If you're teaching a model, that's training. If you get the group to physically stand inside the model and notice what they see from where they're standing, that's facilitation, because now the insight is coming from them, not from you.

This matters practically for anyone running paid sessions, because facilitation and training aren't just different skills: they tend to be priced and packaged differently too, which I'll come back to below.

The Four Types of Facilitator (And How to Know Which One You're Being)

If the facilitator-versus-trainer distinction is about what you're doing, Cubis's next framework is about how you're showing up while you do it.

She developed a simple four-type model after noticing recurring patterns, both in herself and in facilitators she was coaching. The model isn't about picking your "best" type and sticking with it. It's the opposite: the whole point is learning to move between all four, depending on what a specific group needs at a specific moment.

The Guide

This is facilitation at its best, according to Cubis. A guide stays close enough to support the group (clarifying an instruction, checking in when someone looks lost) without hovering. She describes the risk of getting too close as becoming a "helicopter parent": present, but robbing the group of the chance to do its own work.

Cubis says she knows she's done her job well as a guide when she can step back and let the group run the session themselves, because they feel safe enough and have enough structure to do so.

The Referee

Sometimes a group needs boundaries enforced, not just gently suggested. Cubis landed on this label after a participant told her that saying "in the interest of time" made them feel rushed and unable to think clearly: a small moment that made her realise she'd shifted into "blowing the whistle" mode.

A referee steps in when structure is slipping and time or energy is limited. It's more directive than guiding, but it's still in service of the group completing its purpose.

The Dictator

This one sounds harsh, and Cubis doesn't shy away from that. It came from watching a CEO describe a session where "they just weren't interested", a comment that, on reflection, sounded less like facilitation and more like control for its own sake.

But Cubis makes an important point: dictator energy isn't always wrong. She describes a session where the group's energy was so low that she put the marker down, changed her tone, and became far more directive, handing the marker to someone and telling them to take over. The shift worked. Sometimes a group genuinely needs someone to take charge, at least for a moment, to get moving again.

The Crowd Pleaser

Cubis argues most facilitators start here, wanting to be liked, a bit like comedians chasing approval. The risk is that a crowd pleaser keeps asking the group for permission ("should we do this, or this?") instead of offering structure.

When that happens, she's observed a predictable outcome: the loudest person in the room steps in and takes over, because someone has to fill the structural vacuum. She draws a comparison to an observation from Priya Parker's book The Art of Gathering about dinner parties: if the host doesn't stay and provide structure, someone else will take control, or the group will simply drift.

The Question That Ties It Together

Cubis says the most useful question a facilitator can ask themselves, in the moment, is deceptively simple:

"What am I doing now? What's needed now?"

That's it. Not a workshop plan, not a set of predetermined techniques: just an honest, fast check on whether your current mode matches what the group in front of you actually needs right now.

She keeps the model to four types deliberately. With a room of 30 to 60 people and limited time to self-correct, she says: "There's only four; imagine if there were twelve, you'd get completely lost." The simplicity is what makes it usable in real time, not just as a reflective exercise afterward.

Visual Facilitation: Why You Don't Need to Be an Artist

One of the things Cubis is known for is thinking, and communicating, in pictures. She sketches quick cartoons during sessions to help groups talk through complex or difficult topics, and she's written a short ebook, Hum, specifically about fixing common problems in online meetings.

The most common objection she hears when she teaches this skill is: "I can't draw."

Her response is direct: that belief is mostly about perfectionism, not ability. In her Facilitate with Visuals program, she gives people a short exercise to demonstrate they can, in fact, draw well enough to be useful.

A few of her practical starting points:

  • Start small. Words and simple pictures (even basic infographics) work. You don't need to be a trained illustrator.

  • Copy if you need to. Cubis points out that a culture of copying (as with manga in Japan) is part of how people build visual fluency. There's no shame in referencing something rather than freehanding from nothing.

  • Use a blank notebook, no lines. She says removing the lines gives people permission to loosen up before they ever draw in front of a group.

  • Pre-prepare your visuals. Cubis keeps a stock of pictures she's already practised, so she has them "up her sleeve" when a session calls for them.

Her core point is that the value isn't in the artistry. It's in the engagement a visual creates: giving a group something concrete to react to, point at, and build on together.

How to Price Facilitation Work

Pricing is one of the more practical, and more commonly misunderstood, parts of running a facilitation practice, and Cubis is candid that it's genuinely hard to pin down.

A few factors she says shape her pricing:

  • Group size. Once a group grows beyond around 30 people, she typically needs support to facilitate effectively.

  • Purpose and depth. A two-hour workshop might achieve a specific, narrow outcome. A one-day session might be needed just to build trust before deeper work can happen. Some engagements are better structured as a series of sessions combined with mentoring or coaching.

  • Engagement rate, not day rate. Cubis says she doesn't charge a flat day rate: she charges based on the engagement itself, reflecting the customised, relationship-driven nature of facilitation work.

This is also where facilitation and training diverge commercially. Training content can often be packaged and licensed, turned into a repeatable program sold multiple times. Cubis says she doesn't currently license an online training program, because it doesn't fit the highly responsive, in-the-room nature of her facilitation work, though she notes capability-building work could move in that direction over time.

Building a Sustainable Facilitation Practice

Beyond the mechanics of running a session, Cubis shared several hard-won lessons about what makes a facilitation practice, not just individual workshops, actually work.

Read the Red Flags Early

Cubis says she now pays close attention to her gut instinct in early client conversations. If something feels off (an unclear purpose, uncertainty about who should be in the room), she either addresses it honestly up front or declines the engagement.

She's candid that earlier in her career she sometimes ignored those red flags, and the result was sessions where the purpose wasn't clear and the outcome suffered. Her current litmus test for a good client fit: are they prepared to invest real effort, energy, and openness into co-creating the session with her, not just hand over a brief and expect a finished product?

Manage the "Magician" Expectation

Facilitators, Cubis says, are sometimes treated like magicians, brought in with the expectation that a single session will fix a deep-rooted organisational problem. She's careful to manage that expectation directly with clients, describing her work explicitly as not a silver bullet.

The clients she works with best, she says, are the ones willing to genuinely co-create the process with her, including participating in creative exercises themselves, rather than just observing. This kind of expectation-setting is a boundary-setting skill in its own right. See also Sue Anderson's Feedback Fitness Framework for a related approach to managing expectations directly and constructively.

The Lesson She Wishes She'd Learned Sooner

Asked what she'd do differently if she were starting again, Cubis didn't hesitate: she wishes she'd built an email list from her very first solo commercial workshop, a session of 40 government decision-makers and researchers.

Her instinct as a facilitator, she explains, is to stay in the background and serve the group rather than promote herself. But she draws a distinction between facilitating a session and building a practice: the people in the room aren't just participants, they're also a network worth staying connected to.

She recalls asking speaker Sean Stevenson, who addressed audiences of 10,000 at major conferences, the same "what would you do differently" question, and getting an almost identical answer: he wished he'd built his list from day one too.

Frequently Asked Questions

What's the difference between a facilitator and a trainer? 

A trainer delivers a predetermined set of learning outcomes and generally already knows the answer to any question they ask. A facilitator guides a group's own process and asks questions they don't already know the answer to, because the group's response shapes what happens next.

Do you need to be good at drawing to use visual facilitation?

No. According to Jacinta Cubis, the belief that visual facilitation requires artistic skill is mostly perfectionism. Simple words, basic pictures, and even copying reference images are legitimate starting points: the value is in the engagement a visual creates, not its polish.

How is facilitation priced compared to training? 

Facilitation is typically priced by engagement rather than a flat day rate, and depends on factors like group size, purpose, and depth of outcome required. Training content, by contrast, can often be packaged and licensed as a repeatable program.

What are the four types of facilitator in Jacinta Cubis's framework? 

Guide, Referee, Dictator, and Crowd Pleaser. Each reflects a different way of showing up in the room, and effective facilitators learn to move between all four depending on what the group needs.

How do I know which facilitator "type" I need to be in a session? 

Cubis recommends asking yourself, in real time: "What am I doing now? What's needed now?" That quick, honest check is designed to catch a mismatch between your current approach and what the group actually requires.

Is facilitation the same as coaching? 

Not according to Cubis. She describes coaching as typically one-to-one, while facilitation is one-to-many: working with a group toward a shared purpose rather than an individual's goals.

Conclusion

The distinction between facilitating and training isn't just theoretical: it shapes how you plan a session, how you price it, and ultimately whether a group walks away with something they built themselves or something you handed to them.

Jacinta Cubis's core message is that self-awareness, not more technique, is what makes a facilitator effective. Knowing which of her four modes (Guide, Referee, Dictator, or Crowd Pleaser) a room needs from you in a given moment is a skill that develops with practice, honest feedback, and a willingness to notice when your default approach isn't working.

Whether you're adding facilitation to an existing coaching or consulting practice, or trying to get more out of the workshops and meetings you already run, her framework offers a genuinely simple starting point: stop, ask what's needed, and adjust.

Work With Jane Anderson

Want more on turning a corporate skillset into a consulting practice? Read Rita Cincotta on deliberate leadership and building a consulting practice.

Building your own facilitation or coaching offer? Explore the Women with Influence program for B2B consultants and thought leaders.

 

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