‘Making up for lost time’: The mental impact of ‘lost time’ in your later consulting career

There’s a pervasive feeling among many female consultants that is rarely addressed. This is the idea that we’re ‘making up for lost time’. Many of these women I meet with have been through loss, trauma and experiences that make them feel that they have wasted years of their lives in unproductive relationships, careers or situations. 

They’re coming to their consulting careers later in life, or as a second career. And they’re feeling pressure. They’re feeling regret that time is getting on and they haven’t achieved everything they’ve wanted to achieve. They’re wondering how to make up for lost time.

If this is the situation you’re in, you’re in good company. Though this mental impact is not often addressed, it’s happening to many, many others in the consulting field as well. It even happened to me when my first marriage failed, and I suddenly found myself starting over.

The thing is, lost time is lost time. We can’t ‘make up’ for it. But we can now change our perspective, and move forward productively for a better future.

’Making up for lost time’: The mental impact of ‘lost time’ in your later consulting career

I have a client Rebekah who is experiencing the mental impact of ‘lost time’ right now. She has come into her consulting career off the back of a failed marriage, and has a familiar but traumatic story. Because of this she feels so much pressure to achieve her goals, to have an impact, to make money, and to do it right now. 

Rebekah is not alone. Research shows most Australians will change careers at least once in their lives. And the average person will have three to seven careers before they retire. This number is predicted to be even higher, more like five to seven for the new and upcoming generations of workers.

But starting again – whether due to divorce, trauma or simply a desire to go after the career of your dreams – doesn’t mean that you’re destined for failure. Louise Hay founded Hay House at the age of 62. Coco Chanel reopened her world-famous couture house after a 10-year exile in Switzerland at the age of 70. And the Accidental Icon Lyn Slateris, a 65-year-old university professor, social worker, and now fashion blogger, has quickly gained a cult following with her ‘age is not a variable’ fashion. 

All of these women have had roaring success despite having what might have been perceived as ‘lost time’.

How to make up for lost time

The only real way to make up for lost time is to change your perspective. We need to stop seeing it as lost time and start seeing our experiences for what they are – life. Maya Angelou says, ‘If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you will look forward, do so prayerfully. But the wisest course would be to be present in the present gratefully.’

My message to every person who feels that they’ve lost time in their lives and their careers is that it’s not too late. Your life is a book, and you still have time for a beautiful new chapter that sees you achieving everything you want to in life. Your book isn’t finished yet.

We need to stop seeing our lives in terms of ‘should’. In other words, I ‘should’ have been working. I ‘should’ have finished my degree by now. I ‘should’ have all my superannuation saved for retirement. The ‘shoulds’ are the enemy of where we are and what we can ultimately achieve.

Steps

1. Adjust your mindset. Recognise that it’s not too late for your consulting career. Remember Louise Hay and Coco Chanel and readjust your mindset. You can achieve incredible things.

2. Move forward step-by-step. Rather than trying to do everything at once, put one foot in front of the other, taking one small step at a time. Otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed and risk becoming burnt out before you’ve even really begun!

3. Get the right people around you. A big part of why our Women With Influence community works so well is that we’re all very similar and we’re hugely supportive of one another. Getting your community around you, finding the right mentor and ensuring that you have the support you need within your team are all part of the secret to real efficiency in your consulting career.

4. Remember there’s a market for everyone. It’s important to look at the world and your career with an abundance mindset.  There’s enough work out there. And there’s a market for everyone.

5. See the value in wisdom gained. If you’re coming back into the workforce after a long time away or time spent in a different career, don’t think of this as lost time. This is time spent living life, gaining insight and wisdom. You can leverage this to help you where you are right now!

You still have time, but don’t waste it!

My last thought of the day is that while you still have time, there’s also no time to waste. Think about what will make you happy and fulfilled, and structure your life and consulting career around those ideals. 

I have a client Sara who recently went through a hugely traumatic divorce. She’s started a new career which she runs from her van as she travels all over Australia. She’s experienced heartbreak, but she’s now experiencing immense adventures and embracing a freedom she’d never had before. 

Ask yourself, how can I feel freedom in my life and in my consulting career? You’ll have your own version of a travelling van, but once you embrace it, you’ll be able to focus on the future rather than the past and the achievements still to come, rather than the ‘lost time’.

I’d love to hear your thoughts….